


how did you know you were gay?

by spacemanearthgirl



Series: Sanvers Week 2019 [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is gay, F/F, Sanvers - Freeform, Sanvers Week, Sanvers is endgame, They Play Pool, maggie and lena are buddies, so is maggie she just doesn't know it yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 18:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17751437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacemanearthgirl/pseuds/spacemanearthgirl
Summary: Maggie doesn't know she's gay...until she meets Alex.





	how did you know you were gay?

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3: "What if...Alex had known she was gay and/or Maggie didn't know she was gay?"
> 
> Timeline? What timeline.

“Rough day?” Maggie asks as she sees the rather large amount of amber liquid that Lena pours into their glasses.

“Long day,” Lena corrects as she hands Maggie a drink, settling into the couch beside her. “Thanks for stopping by, I needed a break.”

“This isn’t just a break, I’m here to make sure you go home and get some sleep.”

“Maggie…” Lena trails off, looking over at her desk. “You know how busy I am.”

“I do, but you need to eat and sleep and take a break, you work too much. Plus, I hardly get to see you, so I’m taking you out to dinner once we’ve finished these drinks so we can catch up too.”

She looks like she’s about to argue more before Lena sighs, a smile settling on her face. “Thank you.”

Maggie grins, it was much easier to convince her friend than she thought it would be. “Anytime.”

“So,” Lena says, looking more relaxed at the thought of no more work this evening. “How have you been recently?”

Between visits they usually text and call, but this last month has been busy for them both, the communication even more sparse than normal.

“Same old, same old.” Maggie glances down at her glass, watches the liquid move as she tilts it back and forth. There’s something else she wants to say, something she wants to talk to someone about, but she feels an explicable nervousness about it. “I did meet someone though.”

Lena puts her glass on the table and tucks her legs up under her before she speaks, looking far too excited about what Maggie might now say.

“Tell me more.” Maggie laughs. “Who is he?” But then she falters.

“No.” She waves Lena off. “It’s not like that. Her name’s Alex, she’s FBI, we met at a crime scene.”

Realisation seems to dawn on Lena, even if Maggie doesn’t know what she’s realising. “Ohhh, sorry, I didn’t realise you were into woman.”

Maggie’s eyes widen. “Oh no no, that’s not-“

“Because that’s totally fine if you are-“

“I know, but I’m not-“

“Because I am and I-“

Maggie’s laugh cuts both their interrupting habits off. “I know you are,” she says, giving Lena a look. There’s a particular blonde that Lena hasn’t stopped talking about for the last few months.

“But you’re not?”

“No,” Maggie confirms. Butterflies swim in her stomach but she pushes them down, it’s just the alcohol.

“So, you met someone. Alex?”

Maggie shrugs, watching the swirling liquid in her glass to avoid looking at Lena. “She seems cool, I think we might be becoming friends. You know I’m not very good at that, so it might be nice to have another friend in the city.”

“I think I know what you’re friend-making skills are like, not many people become friends with someone they’ve arrested,” Lena grins.

It was a mistake, one that Maggie rectified as soon as she found out Lena was being set up. “I’ve told you a million times I was sorry about that.” It started as a sore spot for Lena, a connection to her criminal family she doesn’t like, but now it’s become more of a running joke between them, something Lena brings up when she tries to guilt trip Maggie, usually into letting her choose a movie for movie night or what take out they’re going to get.

Lena laughs. “I know, and you know I forgive you. But I want to know more about this Alex person.”

Maggie doesn’t really know how to explain it, the instant connection she’d felt with Alex the first time she’d seen her, and how that feeling has only grown. There’s just something about her that makes Maggie want to learn more, want to learn everything.

“From the moment we met, it was just easy. I mean I was angry that she’d crashed my crime scene but at the same time it was fun to talk to her. After that we had to work together and it was almost as if she could read my mind we were so in sync. She’s funny, she’s smart, and she’s a total badass and, I dunno,” Maggie shrugs again. “I just like spending time with her.”

Alex has invited her to a bar tomorrow night for a beer and pool and even if she’d wanted to, she couldn’t say no to Alex’s hopeful smile.

Lena smiles, a thoughtful look in her eyes that Maggie doesn’t quite understand. “She sounds perfect for you.”

Lena’s words set off a feeling in her chest that Maggie can’t quite identify. Maybe she should stop drinking such expensive whiskey, her body clearly can’t handle the good quality.

“Speaking of ‘perfect for you’,” Maggie says, wanting to change the topic. “How’s a certain reporter doing?”

Lena smiles, a dreamy look in her eyes, and that’s enough to distract her until they go out for dinner.

\---

_ Focus _ , Maggie tells herself. But even as she does she looks up, finds Alex smiling at her from across the table, looking unfairly good in jeans and a leather jacket. Maggie’s wearing her own jacket but she’s never looked  _ that _ good. 

She eyes the table again, eyes the balls spread out in front of her and grips the cue tighter, aiming to hit a ball in the corner.

She misses spectacularly, blushing when she hears Alex’s laugh across the table.

“I thought you said you were good at pool?” Alex says, looking at the table herself as she walks around it, assessing the layout of the balls.

_ I am _ ,  _ Maggie _ thinks, she’s just incredibly off her game tonight and she’s not sure why.

“I’m just letting you win, lulling you into a false sense of security before I beat you in the next game.”

Alex laughs again as she takes her shot, sinking 2 balls with one turn.

Dammit, she needs to up her game.

It’s her turn next, and Alex’s encouraging smile should help but it doesn’t. To her great embarrassment, she makes the white ball jump as she hits it, sending it flying. To make matters worse, it doesn’t hit a single coloured ball on it’s path across the table.

“A false sense of security, huh?” Alex smirks, a flash of heat running through Maggie.

It’s the embarrassment of course.

Maggie steps back to let Alex take her turn but Alex stops her. “Wait.” She picks up the white ball and places it where it had originally been. Alex steps up beside her and gestures at the table. “Try again.”

Maggie wants to argue, say she doesn’t need the help but looking at the table, maybe she does, she’s definitely losing.

Next game she’ll win though, all on her own.

Maggie lines up the shot again, willing herself to concentrate. She can’t mess this up, not twice.

“Wait,” Alex says again and before Maggie can ask what’s wrong, she feels the warm press of a body at her back.

Maggie freezes, her breath caught in her throat.

“Relax,” Alex says quietly, the voice right beside her ear.

And so Maggie does, even as her heart pounds in her chest, she relaxes into the feel of Alex against her, into how strangely good and comforting it feels to be in her arms.

Maggie lines up the shot again but before she takes it, Alex’s hand closes over her own, adjusting the angle slightly.

The touch spreads fire up her arm.

She takes the shot, Alex still firm against her, and surprisingly enough, she sinks a ball in the corner pocket.

Alex steps back and grins at her. She bumps her shoulder. “I knew you could do it.”

Right now Maggie doesn’t particularly care about the game, right now all she cares about is how nice it felt having Alex close, and why she wants her pressed close again.

She pastes on a smile, one that she hopes looks genuine. “I told you I was good.”

Neither of them mention that Alex helped her sink the last shot.

Maggie takes a big gulp of her beer, almost choking when her eyes fall to the line of Alex’s legs as she leans over the table for her own turn. She swallows hastily as she looks away, hoping Alex didn’t notice.

What has gotten into her? She looks down at the beer in her hand, but she can’t even blame it on the alcohol because this is her first drink.

Okay, she needs to focus on the game, she can figure out why she can’t stop thinking about how pretty Alex’s smile is later.

She sinks one shot, then two, then a third on her next turn, and even Alex looks impressed. She’s still losing, but it’s a start.

“Damn, Sawyer, maybe I shouldn’t have helped you before.”

Maggie winks. “I told you I was good.”

Alex blushes, Maggie can see it even in the dimly lit bar. Why does she like the fact that she made Alex blush and why does she want to do it again?

It’s two more turns for Alex before she wins, and Maggie’s competitive nature would usually make her annoyed that she’s lost, especially at something she’s actually good at.

But she’s not focused on that right now, she’s more focused on why she’s enjoying tonight so much, despite the nerves swirling in her stomach.

More focused on why she’d never noticed just how damn good looking Alex is. Sure, she’d noticed when they first met that Alex was pretty, but now as she watches her, smiling after her win, even in the low light of the bar, surrounded by the smell of beer and sweat, Maggie thinks Alex is the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen.

And there’s nothing wrong with that, woman can find other woman beautiful, even if they’re not attracted to them.

Except this is accompanied by the unfamiliar urge to be close to Alex, that feeling in her chest growing when she remembers the feel of Alex pressed against her.

And there’s nothing wrong with that either, but the feeling is certainly a foreign one.

She’s never felt the need to be near someone before, not like this.

She glances down at her smile, the one that’s been distracting her all night. 

For the first time she thinks about what it would be like to press her own lips to that smile.

Even just the thought of kissing Alex stirs up more feelings than any man ever has.

_ Shit. _

“Do you want another game or do you want to sit down and have another drink first?”

Maggie looks at the table then back to Alex. She’s going to need another drink before she can handle watching Alex play again.

“Drink first before we play again? This time I’ll definitely win.”

Alex laughs with a nod. “Twenty bucks says I beat you?”

Maggie grins. She likes Alex even more.

They take a seat at the half full bar and order themselves another beer. Alex excuses herself to the restroom while they wait and Maggie takes the opportunity to text her only other friend.

Maggie bites her lip, thinks about how to word this exactly. Plus she doesn’t have long, Alex will be back soon.

**How did you know you were gay?**

**Did something happen with Alex?**

Of course Lena knows.

**I didn’t tell you but I’m out with her for beer and pool tonight.** She’s not sure why she hadn’t told Lena about tonight in the first place, but she’d wanted to keep it to herself.  **And she’s just so pretty and funny and smart and I really want to kiss her.**

**You and me, tomorrow night? We’ll talk.**

**Thanks.**

That’s just what Maggie needs, to talk about her feelings, with someone who may know what she’s going through. Maybe that’s why she wanted to talk to Lena about her in the first place. She doesn’t even know if she even is gay, but something does feels undeniably right about it.

Now, she just needs to get through tonight, get through their date so she can-

Maggie freezes.

Date?

This isn’t a date, is it?

How would she even know?

Does she want it to be?

Is she even ready for something like that?

It literally only just occurred to her that liking woman was a possibility for her.

That’s too many questions and there’s no time to answer them all or ask Lena as she spots Alex walking back towards her.

Alex smiles as she retakes her seat and Maggie is suddenly hit with the certainty of it all. She likes Alex, she  _ romantically _ likes Alex. The swirling in her stomach has nothing to do with the nerves of wanting to make a new friend, the way her heart races whenever Alex smiles has nothing to do with the hope she’s found someone else to be friends with.

She didn’t feel this way when she was making friends with Lena.

Sure, Lena is pretty, she has eyes, but one smile has never made her want to lean over and kiss her.

_ This evening just got a whole lot more complicated. _

“Are you okay?”

Alex’s voice startles her and she looks up from her drink to find a concerned look on her face.

“Sorry, I’m fine, I was just thinking.” Maggie finds that’s true, despite the fact that she’s just figured out something about herself that is likely to change how she’s thought about her entire life, she feels strangely fine right now.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

“Is this a date?” The words escape Maggie’s mouth before she can truly think about what saying them might mean.

Alex’s eyes widen as she blushes again, this is not how she wanted to make her blush. “I…uhhh….”

She’d been so focused on her own feelings, she hadn’t thought about whether Alex actually liked her back or not. Some of the things she said and did seemed like flirting but what if she was wrong, what if Alex just acts like this around everyone?

_ What if she’s just ruined everything? _

“I kind of hoped it was.”

Maggie stills at the words, not expecting them at all.

A warm hand settles over hers on the table.

She feels the touch like fire.

“It doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to, but my intention when I asked you out was that this was a date.”

Maggie swallows, glancing between their joined hands and Alex’s nervous yet hopeful smile.

“When you asked me out, I didn’t even think there was a possibility that this was a date.” She bites her lip, heart beating rapidly in her chest. “I’ve never…”

“You’ve never…?” Alex prompts with a frown.

“Felt like this.”

Alex’s eyes widen.

“About a woman before.”

The realisation is instant as it spreads across her face. Her smile is so kind and knowing that Maggie doesn’t know what to do with it. “Well then, I’m honoured to be you first.”

Maggie laughs, something loosening and slipping free in her chest as she relaxes.

“If you want, this can just be drinks between two friends. There’s no pressure, you can just take some time to figure yourself out. And I’ll be here every step of the way if you need me.”

Maggie looks down at their joined hands again. “And after that?”

Alex smiles. “And after that, if you still want this, then I’ll be here.”

“You’re willing to wait?” Maggie knows she should take some time to think about this, to figure out exactly what this new knowledge means to her. But she also really doesn’t want to miss out on a chance with Alex, because it’s sort of ridiculous how much she likes this woman and how she didn’t realise she was gay before?

Alex nods. “As long as it takes, whatever you want, I’ll be here.”

Maggie breathes, she relaxes and she smiles and for the first time ever, everything feels right, with this warm feeling in her chest, with this woman sitting beside her, who she doesn’t know yet, will one day be her wife.

**Author's Note:**

> Maggie is a giant lesbian.
> 
> Tumblr: spaceman-earthgirl


End file.
